Hiei's adventure in Babysitting
by kojika
Summary: Kurama leaves and Hiei is stuck watching the kids, Kieima and Yutan. Will he turn out to be a better father than he thought, or end up like he wants to... rated as it is for the typeof language said in it.


1.1.1 Hiei's Adventure in Babysitting  
  
By k-chan (formally known as pan-chan)  
  
I do not own any of the Yu Yu Hakusho characters. I do own Kieima, though and C-chan and N-chan own Yutan. I haven't actually watched the YYH series yet, even though I have had all 112 episodes plus the OAV sitting around on my anime shelf, so I don't know anything about there personalities, besides the little bit I learned from about up to manga volume five and my friends...plus all those Portuguese web sites and the Japanese SNES game I have. I have a lot of other animes to watch first, so I intend to watch it this summer, which might I add is coming up soon! Well, please read and tell me what you think! It's another one of my sad attempts at a comedy! Enjoy! (This had been edited from it's original version)  
  
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"Oh, Hiei-puu! I'm going out shopping so could you watch Kieima? Oh, and Yutan. He'll be here later," Kurama asked, or well...commanded as he left.  
  
"Kurama! You bastard! Get back here!" Hiei shouted as he ran to the door. Kieima crawled over to him and clapped her hands happily.  
  
"Damn you...go away!" Hiei grumbled as he picked his daughter off the ground. He was about to throw her down when he got an idea. He smiled evilly and carried her into the kitchen.  
  
"Alright! Now I can finally kill you! Kurama's such an idiot to leave you here with me when I've been trying to kill you since before you born! Bwa ha ha!" Hiei laughed as he pulled out the largest kitchen knife. Kieima just clapped happily and laughed.  
  
The door bell rang and Hiei growled as he set the knife down and went to answer the door. He opened it slowly.  
  
"Hello! Here's Yutan! How's Kieima? How are things with Kurama?" Yuusuke blurted out as he handed Yutan to Hiei and left, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Hiei sighed and carried Yutan to the kitchen. He set Yutan down and reached for the knife. It was gone.  
  
Kieima laughed as she swung the knife about. Hiei and Yutan both jumped for it, but Kieima swallowed it.  
  
Yutan began to cry loudly. Kieima silenced him as she jumped from the counter and kicked Yutan hard in the head.  
  
"Aba, aba!" Kieima cried as she tugged at Hiei's pant leg.  
  
"What the hell do you want!?" Hiei growled.  
  
"ABA!" Kieima shouted again and Hiei glared at her. She bit down hard onto his leg and began teething.  
  
"Dammit! Where the hell are her teething rings when you need them!" Hiei cried as he threw the little youko off. He then held Yutan's arm up in front of her.  
  
"Aba!" Kieima shouted happily as she began to chew Yutan's arm. Yutan began to cry, but Hiei just sighed with relief.  
  
"Un-yun!" Kieima cried as she dropped Yutan's bleeding arm from her mouth.  
  
"I can't understand you!" Hiei shouted. He glanced at the clock and realized it was lunch time.  
  
Hiei opened the fridge and pulled a piece of raw meat out. He threw it on the floor and it landed with a thud, "Eat up! It's lunch time!"  
  
Yutan grabbed the meat, but Kieima pushed him away and began chewing on it.  
  
"Survival of the fittest, I guess," Hiei commented. Yutan just cried slightly.  
  
Kieima broke a piece of the meat off. She tried to swallow it, but it was too big for her little throat. She began to choke.  
  
"Kieima!? Oh my god!" Hiei screamed. He picked up Kieima and wedged the piece of meat from her throat. He looked down at it and screamed, "No! That was the whale meat for our dinner! Kurama's gonna have my head!"  
  
Hiei realized what he had just done and growled at his stupidity, "Why in Makai did I just do that? I want Kieima dead!"  
  
"Un-yun! Un-yun!" Kieima cried as she dug her little claws into Hiei's leg.  
  
"I hear ya! I hear ya!" Hiei growled as he threw the meat away and opened a cabinet. He pulled out a few cans of baby food and opened them one by one before throwing them onto the floor.  
  
Kieima dipped her hands into the mush and slopped it all over Yutan. Yutan returned the attack.  
  
"Stop it!" Hiei shouted. Kieima laughed and threw some of the mush into his eyes. He screamed in pain.  
  
After about an hour of the crazy food, or slop, fight, Hiei managed to stop the battle.  
  
"Great...now you two need a bath..." Hiei complained as he carried the two to the bathroom, Yutan under one arm and Kieima under the other. They were laughing.  
  
"It's not funny!" Hiei declared as he threw the two onto the bathroom floor. He pulled their clothes off and threw them into the tub.  
  
Yutan splashed around happily until Kieima pushed his head under water. She released him right before he drowned. She laughed and he sputtered.  
  
Hiei mumbled incoherently and picked Kieima out of the tub. He dried her off and pulled one of Kurama's shirts over her head. He dragged Yutan out and tied a towel around him.  
  
Kieima and Yutan crawled from the bathroom and down the hall. They slipped into Kieima's room.  
  
"Now you two behave yourselves!" Hiei shouted as he slumped into a chair. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.  
  
Kieima pulled out a container from her closet causing clothes and toys to tumble out. She ripped the lid off and took out a red and a blue marker. She kicked the container towards Yutan.  
  
Yutan picked out a pink and a purple marker. They both pulled the caps off. Kieima grabbed a ball of twine and crawled out. Yutan followed her.  
  
"What do you want?" Hiei growled as he glanced down. Kieima was sitting at his feet, an innocent expression on her face.  
  
Kieima just smiled and said, "Fuck you, bastard!"  
  
"What!? How in Makai did you learn to say that!? Some first word!" Hiei growled. Kieima just grinned and crawled into his lap.  
  
"Leave me alone!" Hiei snapped. Kieima laughed as her and Yutan used the twine to tie Hiei to the chair.  
  
"What the hell are you doing!? Untie me this instant!" Hiei shouted.  
  
Kieima reached up and ripped off Hiei's headband. She laughed and began to draw on his forehead.  
  
"Ow! Dammit! That's my third eye! Stop it or...or...or you're grounded!" Hiei cried, but Kieima just laughed.  
  
Yutan started to draw on Hiei's feet. Kieima continued to draw on his face.  
  
Suddenly the door flew open. Kurama walked in smiling, "I'm home!"  
  
"Momo!" Kieima shouted as she crawled over to Kurama.  
  
"Look at this mess!" Kurama shouted. Hiei just sighed.  
  
-  
  
Hiei glanced out the window. Kurama was taking Kieima and Yutan with him to shop for once. A week had past since his babysitting nightmare.  
  
Hiei sighed and glanced back out the window. Kurama hadn't gotten any further, in fact it appeared they had gotten closer. He turned away.  
  
Suddenly the door flew open.  
  
"Sorry, Hiei-puu, but something came up!" Kurama said as he entered, "Can you watch the kids?"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Hiei screamed.  
  
~  
  
END STORY  
  
So, what do you think? It was edited from the original version to make it seem better...If you want to know more about Kieima and Yutan, read the series continuation to YYH called Yu Yu Hakusho 4378 or N-chan's story about them...I can't remember the name right now! ^_^;;; Thanks for reading! Take care! 


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